Saddling Up for Another Ride

If you've been following my journey, you know that I came home from Panama and Costa Rica feeling more grounded and ready to try again. Before long, I was back at the fertility clinic preparing for another frozen embryo transfer. This cycle actually started off better than I could have hoped. After completing another two-month Lupron protocol, my hormones finally behaved themselves, and for the first time in a long time, my lining developed beautifully. It reached just over 8 mm and stayed stable, which was the best it had ever been after months of canceled cycles, early ovulation, and unpredictable hormone levels. For once, it finally felt like my body was cooperating instead of throwing me another curveball. Na endlich! ("Well, finally!") After everything that had happened over the past few months, it was nice to have one part of the process simply... work.

This time, we transferred three Day 3 embryos—one 9-cell embryo and two 6-cell embryos. Were they perfect? Not really. I knew the 6-cell embryos weren't considered ideal, and after years of IVF I've learned not to get carried away by numbers alone. Schau'n wir mal ("We'll see") has become my unofficial IVF motto these days. After everything I've been through, I wasn't looking for perfection anymore. I was looking for another chance. And making it to transfer day with stable hormones, a good lining, and three embryos to transfer already felt like a victory worth celebrating.

As always, the transfer itself was over surprisingly quickly. A few minutes later I was walking back to my car with a tiny ultrasound picture in my hand, knowing that everything was now completely out of my control. Three little embryos had officially become my newest travel companions for the next two weeks.

Trying Something Different

One question I've been asked a lot is why we decided to transfer Day 3 embryos instead of waiting until they reached the blastocyst stage on Day 5. Honestly, a few years ago I probably would have assumed that Day 5 was always the better option. That's what you hear most often online, and for many patients it absolutely is the right approach.

But IVF isn't one-size-fits-all.

For women who produce a large number of embryos, growing them to Day 5 helps identify which ones continue developing. My situation is a little different. Because of my diminished ovarian reserve, every embryo matters. Some reproductive specialists believe that when only a few embryos are available, transferring them on Day 3 can be a reasonable option rather than risking losing them during extended culture in the laboratory. The uterus is, after all, where embryos are naturally meant to continue developing.

That doesn't mean Day 3 embryos are "better." If they were, every clinic would transfer on Day 3. The research is more nuanced than that. Studies suggest that for women with a low number of embryos or a poor ovarian response, pregnancy outcomes can sometimes be comparable because each embryo gets an opportunity rather than being filtered out before transfer. It isn't the right answer for everyone, but it was a conversation worth having with my doctor, and after reading the research together, it felt like the right decision for me.

One thing this journey has taught me is to ask questions. Read the studies. Understand why your doctor recommends a certain approach. Don't be afraid to have those conversations, but also remember that every diagnosis is different. What worked for me may not be the best option for someone else.

If you're interested in learning more, these resources provide balanced information about embryo development and treatment options:

• American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM): https://www.reproductivefacts.org/

• Fertility & Sterility: https://www.fertstert.org/

• Human Reproduction: https://academic.oup.com/humrep

Rooting for Two Teams

My transfer happened right in the middle of the FIFA World Cup, and honestly, I couldn't have asked for a better distraction. Every day there was another game, another fan moment, and another hilarious story online. Scottish fans apparently drank Boston bars dry, Norwegian fans went viral with their Viking Row chant, and somehow a Ghanaian witch doctor claiming he cursed Harry Kane became part of the England-Ghana storyline. Honestly, how could I think about embryos when the World Cup was giving me this much entertainment?

For the first time in a long time, I completely blocked out the embryo transfer thoughts. I wasn't Googling symptoms, counting days, or wondering if every little twinge meant something. Instead, I was laughing at World Cup memes, following all the cultural differences between fan groups, cheering for Germany (Auf geht's, Deutschland!), meeting friends, planning IVF Buddies coffee meetups, and simply living my life.

One of the unexpected gifts of this journey has been the IVF Buddies community. When I organized the first coffee meetup, I honestly had no idea if anyone would show up. Now I can't imagine going through IVF without these amazing women. Community isn't about having all the answers—it's about knowing you don't have to carry the weight of infertility by yourself.

One thing I am always careful about, though, is medical advice. I've seen some pretty questionable recommendations online over the years, from changing medication dosages to adding treatments based only on someone else's experience. Please don't do that. Learn as much as you can, read the research, and ask questions, but always make medical decisions together with your doctor. Every diagnosis, every medical history, and every treatment plan is different.

Whether this transfer works or not, this two-week wait taught me something important. It's okay to let yourself be distracted. It's okay to laugh. It's okay to spend an evening thinking about soccer instead of embryos. Life doesn't have to stop just because you're waiting.

With love,

Alexandra 💗