When It Finally Worked… and Then Didn’t

If you’ve been following my journey, you know that after multiple IVF cycles without success, I started looking into other options. Today, I want to share what came next — and I’ll be honest, this is a story I’ve been very nervous to talk about for a long time. It’s not an easy one, and not exactly a happy story, so if you’re feeling sensitive, please skip this one.

After everything we had been through, I was exhausted from trying over and over again and ready for a different path. After a lot of research, consultations, and more testing, we decided to go to a clinic in Prague that offered a package with a guarantee of five day 5 embryos — something that was much more affordable than anything we had seen in the U.S., even with insurance. Even the medications in Europe were significantly cheaper. So I went overseas, feeling a mix of excitement and nerves, rented an Airbnb, and tried to do everything “right” — no stress, no travel, just rest and hope for the best. But the first transfer didn’t work, and I remember thinking, Das kann doch nicht sein. (This can’t be happening.)

A New Path Abroad

I stayed in Europe and tried again the following month — and this time, it worked. The embryo implanted. I felt hopeful, but also very cautious, like I didn’t fully allow myself to believe it yet. I stayed in Germany with my family for a while before flying back, wanting to be close to support and give everything a little more time before the long trip home. Eventually, I had my first OB-GYN appointment around seven weeks, and everything looked good. As the weeks passed, I started to relax and finally enjoy being pregnant — the excitement, the planning, even the not-so-fun parts like morning sickness somehow felt worth it.

When Everything Changes

I began sharing the news with friends and family, and we were even planning a gender reveal. It truly felt like one of the happiest times of my life. But at our 20-week scan, everything changed. We found out that our baby had bilateral MCDK, a condition that is unfortunately not compatible with life. That moment is something I will never forget, and while I don’t want to go into all the details, I will say that it was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. It also showed me something incredibly important — how much we need support during moments like this, and how powerful it is to not go through it alone.

Finding Strength and Moving Forward

This experience is a big part of why I wanted to create this space — a place where we can talk openly, support each other, and feel a little less alone in a journey that can feel so isolating. And while this chapter is incredibly heavy, I don’t want to end without hope. I have not given up. About a year later, I went back to Prague and tried again twice, but unfortunately, I didn’t have implantation success. Even so, I want to say that the clinic treated me incredibly well, and I’m truly grateful for the care I received — they even provided a second donor with additional testing to give us the best possible chance. If you’re considering treatment abroad and want more information, I’m always happy to share — just reach out. This journey hasn’t gone the way I imagined, but I’m still here, still hopeful, and still moving forward. So stay tuned, my dear readers — there is more to this story, and I’m not done yet.

With love and hope,

Alexandra 💜