When IVF Doesn’t Go As Planned

If you read my previous blog posts, you already know how I got here — from trying naturally, to testing, to finally starting IVF. Today, I want to share what came next — my first real experience going through multiple IVF cycles.

Let me tell you… this was the part where things got very real.

When you start IVF, you go in with hope. You think, this is it — this is the solution. I told myself, “Okay, this might be a little harder than expected, but it’s going to work.”

Tja… not quite.

The First IVF Cycle

My very first IVF cycle started with very little knowledge. I didn’t know what questions to ask. I didn’t understand different protocols. I simply went with what was recommended to me by my OB-GYN and chose a clinic that was in-network with my insurance.

At the time, that felt like the smartest decision. Looking back… I wish I had done a bit more research.

So here’s Tip #2 from me to you: Don’t just research IVF — research your clinic and your protocol. Here are some questions you can ask.

Not all clinics treat patients the same way. Some are more open to adjusting medications and tailoring treatment, especially if you have a more complicated situation. I didn’t know that yet — so I trusted the standard approach.

One Embryo

After my first egg retrieval, we ended up with one day 5 embryo. Just one.

And when you hear that number, everything suddenly feels very big and very fragile at the same time. In the U.S., genetic testing (PGT-A) is very common and strongly recommended. My doctor advised me to do it, and at the time, it felt like the obvious choice.

So we moved forward. The cost? Around $5,000 — for one embryo.

Thankfully, the results came back normal. I remember feeling so relieved. Like finally, something was going right.

When Hope Doesn’t Work Out

We went into the transfer with so much hope. I really believed this could be it.

But it wasn’t. The embryo didn’t implant. And just like that… it was over. All the effort, the waiting, the money — gone in one moment. After that, we kept going. We did three more egg retrieval cycles. Each time hoping things would be different. Each time thinking, maybe this is the one. But none of those cycles gave us a viable embryo. Some cycles were converted into IUIs. Some didn’t even make it to a day 5 embryo . I felt like we kept trying… but not really moving forward. At that point, we started changing things. Different medications. Higher stimulation protocols. Even Omnitrope — an FDA-approved growth hormone that’s often talked about in the IVF world. (And yes… it was expensive.) We kept thinking, there has to be something that works. But for me, nothing made a difference. And I remember thinking more than once, Das gibt’s doch nicht. (This can’t be happening.)

Looking Beyond the U.S.

By this stage, it wasn’t just emotional anymore — it was physical too.

And surprisingly, the hardest part for me wasn’t the injections. It was the blood draws.

Constant blood draws. Every other day. Sometimes more. My veins were bruised, sore, and honestly… I was just exhausted. If you’ve been through this, you know exactly what I mean.

At some point, I realized I wasn’t just tired — I was completely drained.

That’s when something shifted. For the first time, we started talking about other options.

Egg donation. Things I never thought I would have to consider… suddenly became part of our reality.

During our research, we discovered something unexpected — the Czech Republic.

It’s actually one of the most popular places for fertility treatments in Europe, especially for egg donation. The costs are much lower than in the U.S., and the clinics are very experienced. And for me, being from Germany, this opened up a possibility that felt a little more manageable. I had family nearby. A place to stay. Support during treatment. And that made a huge difference.

At this point, I knew I couldn’t continue the same way. My body needed a break. My mind needed a reset. But I also wasn’t ready to give up. So we made a decision — to explore a completely new path. One that I never imagined at the beginning of this journey.

But that story deserves its own post.

There is so much to share about going abroad for treatment, how egg donation works in Europe, and what it’s really like to go through this process as an American overseas.

So stay tuned, my dear readers. Part Four is coming soon — and this time, we’re taking this journey across the ocean.

With love,

Alexandra 💛